it's been a while

- the pain and tears were worth it! i got an A on my research paper (50 pg portfolio) and no Cs (as i feared for months - it was a tough quarter)
- went to vegas for nuwan's 21st, stayed at the palm's, tried not to kill alex every so often, saw felix da housecat, and can live without going back for a while
- my laptop's 7 and U keys popped off and my A key sticks
- christmas went by so fast but it felt like preparations took forever
- amy's "yearbook" of photos and the christmas card gary gave me (and daisy black... and the jewelry...) were among my favorite gifts. despite trying not to cry, i still did (and do) every time i read it. coming from a man of few words, it means the world to me.
- i've disappeared from everything social. aside from going out to the occasional UFC party or the prospector or tantalum, all i ever want to do is stay in and watch iron chef, top chef et al., but i'm still restless, which is weird.
- gary's car got broken into, had his wallet (that i gave him two days prior) and gps stolen, and $1200 worth of damages run up on the personal and business cards in less than 10 hrs. and what does he say? "eh... it's done, i'm handling it" while i'm all sorts of a stress case.
- NYE in san diego is in 1.5 days and dj gary is gonna tear the place down!

being practically unemployed sucks but what can you do? worry about it later!

i'm finally 21!

thursday: thanksgiving = hilarious...ly tasty
friday: detroit bar = crazy/drunken/haze
saturday: habana + tentation = mellow + entertaining
sunday: lazy sunday in LB + LAX hollywood = the best day all weekend

details later, maybe.

bottom line:
love family
love friends
love love

edit: and a lil somethin' somethin' alex found on the 'net.

21

in about 24 hours, i'll be on my way to toasting to my 21st. i never thought i'd have to put this much planning and effort into something that would fall through at the whim of some LA club promoters, but here i am. maybe i should try my hand at being a planner...

friday: detroit bar in costa mesa
saturday: tentation in newport
sunday: LAX in LA

happy thanksgiving!

it's on.

senior year sucks

i can't write to save my life.

i honestly think if gary and amy weren't texting me periodically to see if i was still alive, i wouldn't feel the obligation to be so i could reply. because...

this research paper is killing me. i've been sitting here for four hours, trying to get my words out, and it's as if i never started in the first place. it's taken me so much to force myself to focus, and yet nothing is being produced. i have all the research done, i have the themes, i have an idea of what i need to write, and yet... nothing. it doesn't help that i'm starving but can't leave because I'VE GOT NOTHING DONE. but at least now i know if the words won't come, the tears will. which goes along with my last post about being human after all!

human after all

- severe case of senioritis
- so much love in my life
- twilight midnight premiere on thursday
- thanksgiving in 9 days
- 10.5 days till i'm 21 (you'll be hearing from me)
- a month till winter break (crossing my fingers for holiday travels with gary and the girls)
- a month and a week till christmas
- a month and a half till new year's (everyone come to san diego!) and new possibilities

my head is going to explode.

20 days!

...till i'm 21, and my imagination is running wild.

in other news, this quarter makes me want to drop out of school. i just had a mini nervous breakdown during a rare appearance at dinner with my parents, and i think it's safe to say they probably wished they never asked how i was doing.

and for something completely unrelated and possibly so irrelevant that no one will (want to or be able to) share my joy, i saw brian from the pick-up artist 2 at moscow last wednesday!

back to wondering why a classmate's email has yet to make it to my inbox. OF COURSE teh int3rw3b should fail me when i need it the most.

imarobot (not)

you have more than enough reason to make fun of me now, melissa.

this weather is really doing a number on my lungs. i feel like an 80 year-old woman with a fur allergy and 15 cats.

the only thing i'm grateful for is it reminds me of fall (i thought that's what this was) and the holiday season but in two days, the temp will be in the 80s. in true orange county fashion.

i just realized i was dreaming about where to go to eat on my break at 830pm on a sunday night at work in the blustery rain and bitter cold wind. then something about a breakfast burrito. man, i wanna get nick's so bad right now.

RIP

2005-2008
yesterday, while listening to the mstrkrft remix of usher's "love in this club" (it is the only redeeming version of the song, i promise), there was a moment when i heard nothing. i looked down and instead of seeing song information, there was a sad, sad mac icon. when i tried to turn it back on, i could hear and feel the hard drive spinning hard for its life. the scratching tipped me off that it was a lost cause. so in a bittersweet rage, i went and picked up one of these babies:

120 gb. as much space as my laptop. who in the world needs that much?! oh well. now i can put on every song i own, a bunch of movies and as many television shows as i desire. the freedom feels nice. being out a somewhat large amount of $ to be unnecessarily spent, not so much.

damnit, apple. you've done it again.

i sure do love these bizzles of mine

and there goes one of the scariest weeks of my life. thank god it's over. really, i did. then delirium set in and monday became 10x better with all the weight off my shoulders. but that wasn't enough!

day: there was a golden lab and a little jack russell terrier playing with each other in the park while i laid in the grass, talking to amy on the phone during our two-hour break.
afternoon: i decided to get in n out for the first time in months and went to kelsey's to see her and amy for the first time since thursday.
night: gary and i watched the angels vs. red sox game (sorry, LAAoA) and the lives of others (recommended) and filled in the details of the last four days (2x the avg).

i'm so excited for the next few days/weeks/months. but so exhausted from the lack of actual sleep that my body is physically asleep but i'm still awake.

sudden realization: i can't even pretend to be cynical anymore; it no longer comes naturally. i almost have to force it. holy crap! who am i?

oh i also just spent the last 3 hours writing reviews on yelp. who's on it?! be my friend! i think i have cabin fever because i've been sitting on this chair in my room for almost 6 hours, listening to the mstrkrft remix of usher's love in this club for a good portion of it. oh crap.